I haven't blogged in a while. Consider it a combination of spending too much of my spare time chuckling at other people's blogs and remembering that I have a grown up, quite demanding job that takes up an inordinate amount of the rest of my time. Plus I seem to have had nothing interesting to say. At all. Nada. Which is sort of disappointing and a bit odd since I live in an exciting foreign country and all that.
(Anyway)
I read an article yesterday that chilled me to the very core. So moved was I by the news relayed to me by the Guardian online (it's not The Times but it'll do) that I felt compelled to send a strongly worded missive out into cyberspace. *Looks over at current number of followers (three) concedes that LETTER OF OUTRAGE may be overlooked somewhat* This news affects all that is British-y in us. It threatens our culture. It encroaches upon our childhood memories and creeps, Bogeyman like, into our happy days of yore. It's that nasty, bigger child on the beach that kicks over your painstakingly constructed sandcastle palace then skips off all innocent, chuckling cruelly. You know, of course, what I'm talking about. Yes. The possible sale of United Biscuits to some big, fat Chinese conglomerate.
To put it into context -- a sad farewell to Twiglets, Jaffa Cakes and Mini Cheddars. (There are heaps more but these are my favourite and, being my rant, the most important. Obviously.)
Ok, so nothing is set in stone but the 'in talks' with Bright Foods alone was enough to make me reach for the paper bag. I mean, good grief people. Is nothing sacred any more?! I won't bore you with the history (United Biscuits can trace it's roots back to 1830, employs 7000 in the UK alone, has sales of 1.3billion a year, operates out of 24 locations worldwide and is loved by tummies from Greece to Australia, Sweden to Nigeria - thank you Google) but what on earth will kiddies, students, stoners and gummy-toothed old people alike snack on now? Besides, when questioned on the above, a spokesman for Bright Foods merely issued the statement, "We are in talks about buying United Biscuits." Snore. Is this really who we want snatching up the very foundations of our youth? What's next? Marmite gets sold to a Peruvian philanthropist?? *swoons*
There are several other companies circling, however, notably Kellogs, Nestle, Kraft and some unnamed Indian chaps. I think, therefore, the only fair solution is to do some sort of a test. Bah humbug to who has the most dosh (I reckon the Chinese might have the edge there), United Biscuits must go to the most deserving. I think a quick pop quiz on the snacks, some recipe ideas and dip alternatives, favourite hours of the day to eat said snacks and why, hand sewn cushion cover of favourite snack, a 5000 word personal statement, best snack moment and poetic 'ode to a snack' should suffice. In iambic pentameter.
Here's hoping.
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